POLICE SEEK BLUNNIE BROTHERS
Following an incident of assault which occurred on 24 April, Police are seeking Droit and Gauche Blundstone, known widely as the Blunnie Brothers. Police believe the brothers ran from the scene of the crime with the aid of an accomplice, Dunlope Vollé – 
Droit’s sometime partner in amateur tennis competitions.
Although a Police cordon was established at the crime scene, where John G, an elderly resident of Pennant Hills lives, it appears that the Blunnie Brothers were able to slip through the cordon and make their escape. Mr. G was quoted as saying that just before the assault, one of the brothers threatened him and he was told to “hit the deck” – which he promptly did.
Following the assault, Mr. G was admitted to Hornsby Hospital with severe pain to his right leg. X-rays revealed that nothing was broken – other than his pride – which has taken a severe bruising. After his release from hospital he said he would now be faced with a long period of sole searching over what had happened, “my immediate reaction is that I have been badly let down by the Blunnie Brothers” he said, “with whom I have had a good working relationship over many, many years.”
Police have warned the public to be on the lookout for the Blunnie Brothers, who are known always to work in company. “They are likely to have gone to ground” a Police spokesman said, “while they size up a new victim – they’re definitely a pair of slippery characters when given an opportunity.”
Police have issued a description of the Blunnie Bros. as follows:
“Size 8, tanned with a smooth weather beaten complexion and with some scars.”
Police also released a photo of the brothers.
Cheers, JG
(What is behind these criminal minds? Nature, being Blundstone Corp; or Nuture, being the home provided for the Blunnies?-Ed)