GRANDMOTHER SOLVES “BRUNNIE BROTHERS” ASSAULT CASE
A local resident from Fairy Dell Close has solved the mystery that has had police baffled: (See report 26 April 2016)
“John's calling a wake for some faithful friends
His loyal Blunnies having met their end.
He knows the replacements just won't feel right
Let's hope they help him to stay upright.
John claims the involvement of a criminal mind
Which seems most likely for attacks of this kind
But we've heard the truth and now we know
‘Twas old fashioned evesdropping that caused the show.”
”I just knew that Droit and Gauche are not villains” the talented amateur detective said “and hope they can put this experience behind them.”.
Another supporter of the Blunnie Brothers, this time a retired Public Servant from Glenhaven Green, has pleaded for a suitable retirement life-style for Droit and Gauche:
“NOT THE BIN PLEASE!!!! SACRE BLEU MON AMI !!!!
THEY DESERVE/WARRANT A MORE EDIFYING RETIREMENT. SURELY THERE IS A TREE (PREFERABLY BUT NOT NECESSARILY DEAD) NEAR THE HOMESTEAD AT P.C.¹ TO WHICH THE TREASURED DUO COULD BE NAILED, UPSIDE DOWN, TO PROVIDE A NESTING PLACE FOR SOME CRITTERS AND TO BE A LASTING REMINDER TO THEIR OWNER OF MANY FINE TIMES BACK ALONG THE TRACK OVER MANY YEARS.
I ENVISAGE A LONG HORSE-SHOE NAIL AVEC ROUND WASHER THROUGH THE TIP OF THE TOES, SOLES FACING THE TREE, FACING NORTH FOR BEST DAILY SUNSHINE TO PROVIDE FIRST CLASS DRY HOUSING FOR FAUNA---"animals - some of the following such as birds, fish, mammals, reptiles and amphibians...".
NOT THE BIN PERLEASE!!!!”
¹ In an exclusive interview the local Police Sergeant from Payne’s Crossing has confirmed that Mr. and Mrs. JG expect a hundred or so guests at their property on Saturday 17 September 2016. Major road works now under way to facilitate access to the event. The police are confident that while the occasion may be a little noisy, there will certainly be no ‘incidents’.
"ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL"